Roses, chocolate, and jewelry are all great gifts – but if you want to give your wife the ultimate gift of romance – give her the gift of Counseling. What could possibly be more romantic than saying, “I love you and value our marriage so much that I want to do everything I can to make it even better and stronger”.
Marriage counseling is not just a place to address problems, but it is a chance to develop and strengthen your relationship by building true intimacy.
Men, if you are looking for a gift to show your wife how much you love her and you want to increase the romance in your marriage – consider these ten reasons why Counseling is the most romantic gift you can give her…
1. Investment: Counseling is a major investment in your marriage. A woman has a need to feel loved and cherished…like she is the most important thing in your world. When you invest your time and money in the counseling process, you are showing her how important she is to you! Flowers and candy are short-term investments in love…Counseling is a lifetime investment in love with unending dividends.
2. Intimacy: Sexual intimacy increases when you build stronger emotional bonds with your wife. Counseling provides a place to overcome sexual issues and deepen your intimacy physically and emotionally. Increased intimacy will lead to increased sexual satisfaction.
3. Communication: The most important factor in a strong marriage is communication. Learning how to express yourself openly and honestly with your wife and gaining a better understanding of her communication style will increase how you much you “feel comfortable and connected” to each other.
4. Forgiveness: Hearing the words, “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you” is usually not enough to heal emotional and relational pain in a marriage relationship. When one or both of you have been hurt, the pain can keep you stuck from going forward and cause resentment. Forgiveness is a process. Counseling provides a safe place for you both to work through hurts and disappointments together.
5. Conflict Resolution: Unresolved issues are the main cause of mental and emotional distress in a marriage. Avoiding a problem or overreacting to one creates a wedge in your relationship. Learning how to resolve matters no matter how big or small the issue may be will lead to peace and harmony in your marriage.
6. Parenting: A child’s development and wellbeing often depends on the relationship between their parents. Counseling gives you and your wife an opportunity to look at how you are parenting as a couple and strengthen both your parenting style and parenting plan. One of the most important ways to love your child is to set an example of loving your wife.
7. Childhood: Sharing childhood experiences with your wife and gaining a better understanding of what influenced her during childhood helps you both have insight into the adults you are today. Sometimes we are blind to the habits and patterns we have developed from our childhood experiences and family influences. A professional counselor can help you gain insight into your childhood experiences and the positive or negative impact they are having on your marriage today.
8. Goals: Do you know what goals your wife has for your marriage? What are her financial goals, parenting goals, personal goals…How does she imagine her future with you in 5 years…10 years? Have you shared your goals with her? Counseling gives you an opportunity to develop and share your goals with each other and then create a plan to reach them. Dreaming about and planning for the future creates a romantic connection and excitement in your marriage.
9. Trust: Marital romance does not exist without intimate trust. When trust is broken, it takes time rebuild feelings of safety and confidence in your relationship. If trust is an issue in your marriage, coming to counseling shows your willingness to be open and honest and will give you and your wife the tools to rebuild and maintain trust for a lifetime.
10. Commitment: Giving time, money and energy to the counseling process is the most romantic way to show your wife you are committed to her and to your marriage. It shows how much you value her. There is no greater way to earn her respect than to be a man who honors his commitments and is wiling to learn and grow with her for a lifetime.
Every family will experience conflicts at some time or another throughout a life time. Special occasions, events, and holidays can be difficult when family members are at odds with each other due to unresolved issues. Attempting to resolve problems within a family always leads to a happier and healthier family dynamic. The next time you are facing an issue in your family – try following these 5 Tips.
1. Remind Yourself…The Problem is the Problem, Not the Person: When we are at odds with a family member, just hearing their name can make us have feelings of anger and distress. We can lose sight of what the problem is and begin to hate the person. Anxiety and anger can cloud our judgment and ability to reason. Stay focused on what the problem is and what specifically happened. Remember, we are all capable as human beings to hurt others in some way. Take a minute and imagine if you were the one who did the wrong and how that may feel. The person you are in conflict with will be in your family forever, the problem causing the conflict only exists as long as the family allows it to.
2. Own Up to Your Part: Take some time to think about how you may be contributing to the problem. Sometimes the pain is so overwhelming that we can’t see where we may be contributing to the problem, or our part in the problem may not be clear to us. Perhaps your part is that you feel stuck and can’t forgive and move forward. Perhaps you are avoiding addressing the issue because you prefer not to engage in drama, or maybe you simply hate conflict.
3. Have a Resolution Idea Before the Confrontation: Think of at least two ideas of how you think the problem can be resolved. Next, schedule a meeting with the family member or members and state the problem, own your part, listen to what they have to say, and offer your ideas for resolution. Be willing to hear their ideas and work together to come to an agreement. If the entire issue can’t be resolved in one meeting, set a time to meet again and continue the process of working toward complete resolution and restoration of the relationship. Let the other person know that restoration is important to you.
4. Realize It Takes Two: A relationship does not exist without more than one person. It takes two to fight and two to make up. Sometime we simply can’t resolve an issue no matter how hard we try. We have to accept the fact that at least for the present time, the relationship is over. This is challenging in a family because you may be forced to spend time with them at family functions throughout your life time. When this happens, make sure you have peace that you have tried your best and then work toward managing your emotions at family events so can enjoy yourself. Remember…the only person you can control is You!
5. Seek Counseling When Needed: Sometimes, people are so emotionally hurt or the issue is so complex that an objective third party is necessary to help both family members have a voice and work together to resolve issues and restore the relationship. When you feel like you have tried to mend the relationship with no success, try suggesting that you and the other family member or members schedule a counseling session together. Remember, the bottom line is restoring the relationship and enjoying peace and harmony in the family. Healthy relationships are part your overall mental and emotional well-being and learning to resolve conflict is a life skill we all need to develop.
There is Hope for Healing that leads to Harmony in Life through Counseling!