Roses, chocolate, and jewelry are all great gifts – but if you want to give your wife the ultimate gift of romance – give her the gift of Counseling.   What could possibly be more romantic than saying, “I love you and value our marriage so much that I want to do everything I can to make it even better and stronger”. 

Marriage counseling is not just a place to address problems, but it is a chance to develop and strengthen your relationship by building true intimacy.

Men, if you are looking for a gift to show your wife how much you love her and you want to increase the romance in your marriage – consider these ten reasons why Counseling is the most romantic gift you can give her…

1.  Investment:  Counseling is a major investment in your marriage.  A woman has a need to feel loved and cherished…like she is the most important thing in your world.  When you invest your time and money in the counseling process, you are showing her how important she is to you!  Flowers and candy are short-term investments in love…Counseling is a lifetime investment in love with unending dividends.
2.  Intimacy:  Sexual intimacy increases when you build stronger emotional bonds with your wife.  Counseling provides a place to overcome sexual issues and deepen your intimacy physically and emotionally. Increased intimacy will lead to increased sexual satisfaction. 
3.  Communication:  The most important factor in a strong marriage is communication.  Learning how to express yourself openly and honestly with your wife and gaining a better understanding of her communication style will increase how you much you “feel comfortable and connected” to each other.
4.  Forgiveness:  Hearing the words, “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you” is usually not enough to heal emotional and relational pain in a marriage relationship.  When one or both of you have been hurt, the pain can keep you stuck from going forward and cause resentment.  Forgiveness is a process.  Counseling provides a safe place for you both to work through hurts and disappointments together.
5.  Conflict Resolution:  Unresolved issues are the main cause of mental and emotional distress in a marriage.  Avoiding a problem or overreacting to one creates a wedge in your relationship.  Learning how to resolve matters no matter how big or small the issue may be will lead to peace and harmony in your marriage.
6.  Parenting:  A child’s development and wellbeing often depends on the relationship between their parents. Counseling gives you and your wife an opportunity to look at how you are parenting as a couple and strengthen both your parenting style and parenting plan.  One of the most important ways to love your child is to set an example of loving your wife.
7.  Childhood:  Sharing childhood experiences with your wife and gaining a better understanding of what influenced her during childhood helps you both have insight into the adults you are today.  Sometimes we are blind to the habits and patterns we have developed from our childhood experiences and family influences.  A professional counselor can help you gain insight into your childhood experiences and the positive or negative impact they are having on your marriage today.

8.  Goals:  Do you know what goals your wife has for your marriage?  What are her financial goals, parenting goals, personal goals…How does she imagine her future with you in 5 years…10 years?  Have you shared your goals with her?  Counseling gives you an opportunity to develop and share your goals with each other and then create a plan to reach them.  Dreaming about and planning for the future creates a romantic connection and excitement in your marriage.
9.  Trust: Marital romance does not exist without intimate trust. When trust is broken, it takes time rebuild feelings of safety and confidence in your relationship.  If trust is an issue in your marriage, coming to counseling shows your willingness to be open and honest and will give you and your wife the tools to rebuild and maintain trust for a lifetime.

10.  Commitment: Giving time, money and energy to the counseling process is the most romantic way to show your wife you are committed to her and to your marriage.  It shows how much you value her.  There is no greater way to earn her respect than to be a man who honors his commitments and is wiling to learn and grow with her for a lifetime. 

Do you love yourself?  This isn’t exactly an easy question to answer because at times you may love certain aspects of yourself while despising others.  Sometimes we feel loved and cherished by other people and sometimes we may feel like nobody loves us.  We can’t base feeling loved on the actions of other people or how we feel from time to time. 

We have to learn to be the one to love ourselves unconditionally.  When we do, we will be able to accept and give love in a healthier and more fulfilling way throughout our lifetime.

Here are 3 Ways to Practice Loving Yourself:

Say It: 

When is the last time you told yourself “I love you”?   Multiple research studies have shown that we can change our habits, beliefs, and brain chemistry over a period of 90 days.   We have learned that positive self-talk has a powerful affect on a person’s sense of self worth.  When you say, “I love you” to yourself – you are thinking, saying, and hearing that you are loved.  This makes a powerful impact on developing your belief system and increasing your self-esteem.

Show It: 

When we love someone, we give our time and effort to show it by our actions.  We will go to great lengths to protect, value, and care for a loved one.  How do you show love to yourself?  Are you protecting yourself by establishing healthy boundaries?  Do you value yourself by treating yourself with kindness and caring for your body, mind, and spirit?  Showing love to yourself involves nurturing your mental and emotional health, spending time embracing your spiritual beliefs, and taking care of yourself physically with a healthy diet and exercise plan that includes a healthy sleep pattern and relaxation time. 

Share It: 

Loving other people becomes so much more fulfilling for us when we practice loving ourselves because the love we give comes from a genuine place in ourselves.  When we have a strong sense of self-esteem and self-worth, we understand the value of embracing our uniqueness and are able to focus on the positive more than the negative.  Your attitude and countenance will be an encouragement to other people.   When you feel loved yourself, you can easily share that love with others through words and actions. 

Today is a great time to start Loving Yourself.  Why not make a commitment every day for the next 90 days to say “I love you” to yourself, take daily action to show yourself love, and then share that love with others every day.  You may want to journal your “love journey” to be able to reflect on the changes in your life as a result of loving yourself. 

There is Hope for Healing that produces Harmony through Counseling!